Mall Trip
by HylianSamus
Summary: The smashers take a trip to West Cove Mall! WARNING. Kind of gross! Rated T for a reason!


**Hey Teressa! I know your reading this! Warning! This story is kinda gross... My cousin, Natalie, helped me so...**

"It is my pleasure to announce that all smashers will be taking a well needed trip to the West Cove mall. All smashers are expected to meet at the front gate at 2 o'clock. If you are left behind, well I guess your assed out. That is all."

The announcement had come over the loud speaker by the beloved Master Hand. Even he knew this meant trouble. But, he needed an excuse to buy Samus a birthday present. And so did everyone else...

"Ughhhhh," Wolf grumbled after the announcement.

"Whats wrong?" Falco asked.

"What the hell is the "mall"?! This is going to be like the time we went to 'Jail'!"

"Well, actually..." Falco's voice faded away.

Peach overheard this and sprang up from her position on the floor. She had been looking for her pan.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE MALL IS?!" Peach screamed, causing multiple pans to clatter to the ground, scaring the crap out of Wolf.

Peach gulped. The next thing she knew, Wolf was pointing his gun carefully at Peach. "Don't. You. Dare. Move." Wolf growled.

Little did Wolf know that Peach was hiding her trusty pan behind her back. "Ummm... Wolf?" Peach started. "WHAT?!" Wolf yelled, still pointing his gun.

"THIS!" Peach screamed, quickly throwing her pan quickly at Wolf's head. "YOWZA!" He yelped and fell on the floor. He was knocked out. And he had a huge red lump on his head.

"Congrats! I've been trying to do that since our StarFox days." Fox muttered not looking up from his Playboy magazine.

"Hmph!" And with that, Peach walked of to go find Zelda.

Meanwhile, Nana had heard the announcement while on the toilet. She had a little trouble... Passing a big one. And she wasn't too excited about the trip.

"OMIGOSH! WERE GOING TO THE MALL! DID YOU HEAR THAT NANA?! ...Wait? ...Nana?"

"Ummm... I'm in here Popo!" Nana called from the bathroom.

"Nana?" Popo asked as he opened the door to the bathroom.

"AHHHHH! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" Nana screamed as she chucked a roll of toilet paper a Popo.

"AHH! OK! OK! OK!" Popo yelled and sprang out, huffing and puffing.

"CLOSE THE DOOR!" Nana screamed.

"Alright! Alright!" Popo huffed and slammed the door.

Nana was pissed. But she had more important things to worry about. "Ohhh Gosh..." she muttered.

"What was that?"

"NOTHING!"

Toon Link, Ness, and Lucas were jumping on the beds, excited about the news.

"OMG! DID YA HEAR THAT NESS!" Toon Link yelled a little too excited.

"YEAH, I HEARD IT! DID YOU HEAR IT LUCAS?"

"YEAH, I HEARD IT! DID YOU HEAR IT TOON LINK?"

BAM! Toon Link chucked a pillow at Lucas, causing him to fall off his bed.

"I just said that." Toon Link said, rolling his eyes.

Toon and Ness sat down on their beds.

"This should be fun." Lucas muttered as he got up.

"Shut up, Lucas." Toon Link said, putting his chin in his hand.

"Ya. No one wants to hear it, Lucas." Ness muttered.

Everyone met at the front gate to depart. The Smash tour bus pulled up in the front. Fox walked down the isle to the last seat by the window.

"Ahhh" he said as he relaxed in his seat.

"What are you doing!?" Ike yelled.

"Gahhh!" Fox yelled, scared as hell.

"This is my seat!" Ike said with a deep and scary glare. "And do you know what happens to people who sit in my seat?"

"Uhhhhh... BYE!" Fox yelled and ducked between Ike's legs, as he ran to sit next to Wolf.

Wolf growled at him. "Oh boy..." Fox thought.

Once they arrived at the mall, Most smashers ran off immediately.

Nana, wasn't able to... Poop... And she was having terrible cramps.

"Ughhhhhh!" Nana held her stomach and bent down.

"Whats wrong Nana?" Ness asked.

"Cra- Cramps..." Nana managed to let out.

Toon Link whispered something to the guys, who quickly started to laugh.

"You- Your- Your on your period, Nana?!" Lucas exclaimed.

"WHAT?!" Nana screamed, embarrassed.

Zelda gasped and linked arms with Nana.

"Come on Nana! Lets go shop! These boys are MEAN!"

Peach linked arms with the other side of Nana and walked off. Samus quickly followed.

"Yeah. C'mon guys. Lets go shop for Pads and Tampons!" Toon Link said. And with that, they walked off to Victoria's Secret...

"Maybe we can get Samus one of those white, soft sweaters with the store logo!" Lucas said.

"Yep." Popo agreed.

But as they walked deeper into the store, they begin to see what their generation finds... Hilarious... They was Panties and Bras everywhere. Pictures of women in lingeries, which they somehow missed by the door, was everywhere. At the exact same moment, the boys collapsed in laughter, holding their stomachs.

"Excuse me." The store clerk said, standing over them.

"Uhhhh..."

Immediatly, the boys stopped laughing and quickly sprinted out the doors.

"Not. Funny." Ness said.

Marth, Link, and Ike were walking into the "As Seen On TV" store.

"OHHH! A FUSHIGI!" Marth exclaimed as he ran over to where the Fushigi's were.

Marth took one out of the box and started to play with it.

"Oh man, Marth. You suck ass!" Ike said teasingly.

"I'd like to see you try!" Marth handed it over to Ike, who quickly failed and dropped the ball on his foot.

"OWWW!" Ike yelled and fell to the floor, "I think I broke my toes!"

"Gimme that." Link said as he picked up the ball and immediately started to do cool tricks.

"Whoa! Link! Your really good at this!" Marth said in amazement.

And with that, they bought the Fushigi ball and decided to give it to Samus for her birthday.

"Samus is gonna love her present." Ike said, limping.

"Yup."

"C'mon Samus!" Peach said.

"NO! N-O! NO!" Samus replied.

"Its just a dress!"

"..." Samus didn't say anything. Instead, she just turned away and walked in another direction.

The girls were speechless, but didn't go after her.

Samus walked around the mall until she walked by a store that sold candle's. When she walked in, she didn't see the long candle that was by a book shelf filled with smaller candles.

"GAH!" Samus yelled as she tripped over it and slammed into the shelves, causing the bookshelf to shake. "Uh-Oh..." she said.

The book shelf fell to the floor, causing all the candles to fall and glass to brake. The store clerk gave Samus a dirty look and told her that she would pay. And she did. She paid a total of $0, because she sprinted out the door before the clerk could run after her.

Snake had somehow dragged Pit along with him to find a birthday present for Samus. And after being kicked out of Victoria Secret for... Specific reasons, they decided to go to the Target all the way in the back.

"Do you think this will fit her?" Snake asked Pit while holding a giant lingerie bra.

"Ewww. Isn't that a little... Big?"

"Have you even seen her boobs?"

"Umm... Noooo..."

"Well, I'm getting this one. Now I just need to find underwear..."

"Dont you think Samus will... Oh, I don't know... KILL YOU?!"

"No. And how about this one?" Snake held up a red thong.

"Um... Sure."

"Great. Now lets go."

"Whats that box in your hand that says 'Trojans'?"

"Umm... Nothing..."

"Oh, hey guys!" Pit said to Toon Link, Ness, Lucas, and Popo as they walked into Target.

They waved and walked to the isle of sanitary supplies.

"This is going to be hilarious!" Toon Link snickered.

"I know right!" Ness exclaimed.

"Lucas, you go in there." Toon said as he pushed Lucas into the isle of Pads and Tampons.

"N- No!" Lucas yelped and ran back out.

"You guys are pussies." Ness said. He walked in, grabbed super absorbent pads and tampons and walked out.

"That was easy." Popo said.

"Then why didn't you do it?"

"Ike, what are you doing?" Link asked.

"Escalators take to long." Ike said as he ran down the moving steps.

"Be care-"

Too late. Ike had already tripped and started to get carried down by the steps. When he hit the bottom, his face kept getting pinched in between the metal and stairs going through the ground.

"Ahhh! HELP! IT'S PINCHING MY FREAKIN FACE!" Ike screamed.

Link and Marth looked at eachother and nodded. They weren't about to run down and fall like Ike did. Instead, they were patient and waited until they reached the bottom to pick up a bleeding Ike.

"Damn you guys." Ike said hoarsly.

"We tried to tell you, dumbass." Marth replied.

Not knowing what to get Samus, the girls just got her the blue dress she refused to try on.

"Don't you think she will be mad?" Nana asked.

"I think she- GAHH! HELP! HELP!"

"OMIGOSH! PEACH!" Zelda screamed.

Peach hadn't been watching where she was going and had flipped over the railing. Now she is hanging over the bottom floor.

"HELP!"

Zelda tried to pull her up, but she lacks upper body strength and fell back on her bottom after a failed attempt.

"Zelda you are so WEAK!" Peach grumbled as she started to pull herself up.

"Ar- Are you okay? Do you need anything?..." Zelda said when Peach miraculously pulled herself up.

Zelda and Nana blinked, wondering why Peach, who was on her and gasping for breath, wasn't responding.

"YOU REALLY COULDN'T PULL ME UP ZEL-ZEL?!" Peach screamed as loud as she could... Which was pretty loud.

"Ummm... I- I-" Zelda started. But she couldn't end because Peach furiously swung her pan across Zelda's face. Knocking her out.

"ZELDA!" Nana shreiked.

"Hmph!" Peach walked away to find Mario.

"Sheik!" Samus yelped and ran towards her.

(In this story, Sheik is a female, OKAY?)

"Hey Samus! What's wrong?" Sheik said as Samus ran up to her.

"Have you been in the candle shop yet?" Samus said while breathing heavily.

"Ummm... No. Why?"

"Dont go in there!"

"What? W-"

"YOU THERE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" The store clerk had almost cought up to Samus.

"RUN!" Samus wailed.

Samus and Sheik ran across the mall until Samus tripped over someones foot. The foot belonged to Sheik...

"SHEIK!" Samus screeched.

"S- Sorry!" Sheik stuttered. But she started to panic, because the clerk was about ten feet away. And she couldn't find her self to open her mouth.

"G- H- I- D- K-" Sheik started to stutter.

"Wha-"

"GOTCHA!" The store clerk ran over Samus and tied her hands together with cuffs.

"Dammit! Why the heck didn't I just run?!" Samus thought.

Eventually, Samus was reported to the tiny holding cell in the mall security department.

"Please! Please! Sheik! Just get me out of here!" Samus begged Sheik to pay the fine so she could leave.

"I don't have enough!"

"Go ask other smashers!"

"Right!" Sheik ran off.

Sheik never returned.

After a long bus ride home, no one seemed to even notice Samus was gone. Not even Zelda and the other girls. Well except for Sheik, who was sweating like crazy from panicking. Samus' birthday was tomorrow. What's everyone going to say when she's gone?

Since no one came to bail out Samus, she had to spend the night in the holding cell. "SHEIK!" Samus screamed in frustrastion when she heard the busses leave.

The next day, the party was set up and the cake was made. Everything was set perfectly. Well, except for Samus.

"Has anyone seen Samus?" Lucas asked.

"Shut up, Lucas." Toon Link said putting his chin in his hand.

"Ya. No one wants to hear it, Lucas." Sheik muttered.


End file.
